A Year Ago Today

It is unbelievable to think that one year ago today, on Sept 14, 2008, we discovered the lump on Cooper's neck that would cause our world to turn upside down! I remember it so well- he was 6 weeks old and I was feeding him, gently rubbing his sweet face with my fingers, when I realized there was a lump right under his jaw bone. After being born 6 weeks premature, and all the "drama" that went along with that, I remember thinking, "Oh great, what is this?" My first thought was a swollen lymph node. I honestly didn't want to have to take him back to the dr's office- AGAIN- after having to go so much since his birth. I asked Bunky what he thought and he encouraged me to go ahead and have it looked at. That next morning we went in and Dr. Chambers sent us to Vanderbilt for an ultrasound that very afternoon (Thank God for his wisdom and discernment as a doctor to refer us quickly).

I knew immediately that something was wrong as his ultrasound took what seemed like forever, then we were told we needed to wait in the private waiting room for the dr. to call us back before we left the hospital. This was after 6 or 7 people came in to look at the ultrasound, and after the Radiologist came in (when we were told she had left for the day). I will never forget their faces. I guess they are trained to not overreact or show too much emotion, however, a mom just knows and I knew! What transpired over the next couple of weeks was an intense whirlwind that made me feel like I couldn't breathe. Several MRI's later and after meeting with the ENT, Dr. Netterville, we knew the journey before us was going to be full of the unknown and leave us feeling desperate and helpless. I still cannot get the image of the MRI we saw out of my mind- the inside of his head was basically 1/3 taken up by a complicated tumor weaving in and out of tiny facial nerves, muscles, and structures. It lit up like a Christmas tree due to the vascular nature of the tumor. Everyone was perplexed by it and no one seemed to know what it was.

I took these pictures of sweet Cooper this morning as he was playing in his PJ's! I have stopped several times today to thank God for His faithfulness and for carrying me throughout the last year. We did not know what was going to happen, nor do we know what is in Cooper's future, BUT God did know and does know. I read a quote this morning from someone in the 17th century imprisoned for his faith, "I GROW UNDER THE LOAD".  I would have not chosen this "load" for our family to carry, but I am certain I have grown because of it and have experienced like no other time in my life what it really means to have HOPE and FAITH, and to really rest in my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! I have also learned to live in the moment and to take nothing for granted. God has already used my son to teach me so many important things about life and I am forever grateful to Him for that!!

Zephaniah 3:17

"The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs."

I love you my little Trooper!