Twas the Night Before Christmas

My heart is heavy tonight. Our first Christmas at home without Bunky here. It still does not feel real. I have tried desperately to focus on Christ and what His birth really means to ME. When I take my focus off of our situation and all that is so wrong about it, I can't help but rejoice at the miracle of Christmas.

So, even as I felt a depth of loneliness tonight in the midst of preparing for tomorrow, I was reminded that this is NOT my permanent situation. This is NOT my home. Here's my "mama's" take on an old classic Christmas story!

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house.
Only mama was stirring, and the quiet seemed loud.
Four stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
But the one that was missing, made the mantle seem bare.

Three boys were nestled, all snug in their beds,
While memories of the past, consumed mama’s head. 
Missing part of our family, and thinking of his laugh,
Made it hard for mama to sleep, or even to nap.

When one minute he was there and the next he was not,
This was never the plan, mama constantly thought.

The excitement of Christmas, so numbed with the pain,
of losing my love, whom I still call his name.
When what to my wondering mind would remain
The peace, hope, and love for which Jesus came. 

He spoke not a word, but went straight to His work,
Being born in a manger, without any perks.
This day will feel different, of that there’s no doubt,
But, this mama will remember and with JOY will shout...

Thank you Jesus, for holding my broken heart,
And sending your son to fulfill prophecy’s part.
For one day, this mama will see him again,
And what feels lonely now, YOU will gently tend.