How life can change in just 6 months

I realize it has been since Cooper's last MRI in April, that I have posted anything. I'm not even sure how to go backwards and really recapture all that has transpired in the last 6 months. At the same time, I have felt "nudged" by God to write. Write what? I don't really know. Write where? Continue writing in my journal? Pick the blog up again? I'm not even sure. I just know it's what I should do. I believe there is healing in it. I believe in the importance of recording moments, as we are never promised tomorrow. And what we have to say today; well, it may be of real value to someone tomorrow or at some point in the future. So, here it is or here it goes. I'm not sure what it looks like. I don't know how "messy" it will be or how much of my heart I really want to share. I will let God lead me in that. What I know in this moment are these things: 1.) I ache for my husband to be next to me even just for one more day. 2.) I'm certain that God is who HE says HE is and that HE will be faithful....even when I want to shake my fists at Him, in seething anger for what HE has allowed to happen. 3.) My boys fill me with joy and bring daily reminders of God's goodness. 4.) I am beyond blessed by those who have lifted my arms when I couldn't, who have allowed me to just be me (no matter how ugly that may look), and have extended grace, even when I can't seem to do that for myself.