Another Birthday in Heaven

Today is my Bunky's birthday. We would have celebrated his 44th this year. Instead, we reflect on the mark he made on this earth during the time he was here, and rejoice knowing he is partying it up big in Heaven. So, instead of making him a birthday cake, I sat looking at his cemetery marker this morning. Such a contradiction of what I would have thought at this point in our lives. Tears felt frozen on my face. Yet, the sun was bright and brought warmth in some mysterious way. It reminded me that out of darkness, His light shines the brightest. God's comfort is always present.

I think anytime someone close to us dies sooner than anticipated, it challenges those of us who are still here to dissect what impact we are or are not having. It forces us to come to grips with our own mortality. It stirs up questions. Some that have no answers. It makes us uncomfortable. It wakes us up from our "la-la land mentality" of just being. It challenges us to make the most of every second. Every minute. Every day. 

We know all too well, that today could be our last. Our moments on this earth are fleeting and never guaranteed.

For Bunky, God's plan was for him to have the exact amount of time that he had on this earth. I believe this with all of my heart. It was no accident. No mistake. And, even though I have wrestled long and hard with this…there was nothing I could have done to stop it or make it different. 

I love the New Living Translation of Psalm 139:16, "You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed."

From the moment he took his first breath until his final breath. His time on this earth was:

• 509 months
• 2,211 weeks
• 15,481 days
• 371,544 hours
• 22,292,640 minutes
• 1,337,558,400 seconds

These were the numbers ordained for him, and as much as I don't like to accept the brevity of his time on earth, it still is what God planned. The period has been put at the end of the sentence. The last page of the book was read. It sounds so final. Yet, in the broader scope of Heaven and eternity, these numbers are as mere grains of sand on a vast beach. They are a vapor in the wind. A single blade of grass on thousands of miles of rolling meadows. A tiny drop of rain in a torrential downpour. A tiny flake of snow in the arctic tundras. 

It really causes me to stop and ask myself, "What am I doing in this microscopic piece of time that God allows me to be here on earth? What am I doing that will matter for eternity?" 

Make it matter. Make your seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years on this earth count for something bigger! I pray that I will.

I would still argue that Rod Cook lived more life in his 42 years, than many will in 82! His legacy continues to live on in big ways. I see it all around me. I can only be thankful that he was born and feel blessed that God allowed me to be a part of his story while on this earth. 

We are not guaranteed another second. One day Bunky was coaching baseball games in a tournament and the next day he was in a hospital on life-support. One hour he sat and talked with me about what we were packing for a trip, what time he wanted to sleep in until, and we laughed at some funny stories we were told about our boys that day. Just 5 hours after that, he was in our bedroom floor after suffering cardiac arrest. About 6 hours after I hugged and kissed him goodnight, I was told by a fire chief that they did not know if the paramedics would find a heartbeat or stabilize him enough to even ride in the ambulance to the hospital. I was told, "you need to prepare for the worst." And all I could think was…"PLEASE God don't take him and please don't let my boys wake up and see this right now."

My life has been changed forever. I am slowly coming to a place of peace and acceptance,   but I will never, ever be the same. My prayer is that God will bring beauty from ashes and that I will live every day like it's my last.

We miss you Rodney Lane Cook and can't wait to see you again! Happy Birthday in Heaven!