A New Calendar

The year mark is over. Part of me is relieved that I never have to go through another "1st" again. And another part of me, a really big part, braces myself for the fact that it's now just every day life without him in it. There's no anticipating or preparing myself for certain dates. How are we going to celebrate this birthday or that holiday? With July 3, 2014 comes a new calendar.  Dates that hold just as much meaning as they did during the first year I went through them, but somehow already going through them leaves me feeling more empty. It's as if there are expectations with everything "post 1 year"…After all, I did it once and got through. Why not again?

I believe time heals. I believe that I will learn to live with this emptiness. I believe that I won't ever "get over it," but will learn how to embrace what things look like now. I believe God has a bigger story and I pray I can be sensitive enough to His calling to live out that story in my life, while bringing Him glory. I'm hopeful for what He has in store.

I will forever be thankful for the abundance of people who have poured out generosity to us this past year. I truly feel an army of prayer warriors surrounding us, even now. Please continue to do this. I can't tell you how much it means. I can assure you that our daily lives are still marked with a great absence. One that is felt in so many ways. One that will continue to be real and difficult.

I would say one thing that has been really awesome to me is to see how God uses people in seemingly small ways. I couldn't begin to tell you the times I have gotten a random text, email, phone call, card, or even Facebook message from someone (even those I may not know or be all that close to) that speaks volumes to me in that moment. I have had lots of people tell me that they hesitate sometimes to say something, even when they feel led to say it. Don't! God uses you. He has been using you in my life. I know that after this year, I will always try to follow the prompting of the Holy Spirit to reach out to someone. I've seen what God can do with this too many times in my own life this year, and I am a believer.  Even if it's just to say, "I don't have any words, but God put you on my heart and I just wanted you to know."

You may have just what someone needs in a particular moment…and God may just want to use you to comfort someone. Let Him!