One Year

The day came. There was no stopping it…as much as I wanted to put the pillow over my head and wish it away. The one year anniversary of the death of my beloved, best friend, husband, father to my children came and is now almost gone. The one who not only made me smile, but continually made me laugh. A belly laugh. Like the kind that causes tears from laughing so hard. 

Just to digress a little here. We always talked about how important it was in a marriage that you are able to laugh with and make your spouse laugh. As he always said, when we are old, you won't love me for my looks…it will be because I make you laugh. I have a feeling I will still laugh at some of my many funny memories with him as an old lady, he just won't be here to do it with me, now. Please make time to laugh…really laugh…with your spouse. You won't ever regret it!

The day started with us looking out the window at a bunch of white flags stuck in our yard with "RC" on each one of them. I still have no idea who did this, but it was really cool!

We cried and laughed as we watched a video together that I made for them. I thought about posting it, but I think I will keep that one special just for us. It has a lot of old pictures of them with their dad through the years. Then, we headed out to do some random acts of kindness in honor of their dad. A sonic car hop and a lady selling the homeless newspaper got a surprise tip! We still have a special girl at Sonic we will go visit…she wasn't there today. We gave them a note with their money that explained about Rod and why we were generously giving as he did throughout his short life.

Then, my niece Hannah came and got the boys to go to Chick-fil-A, another one of Bunky's favorite places to eat. They also went and played at Goofballs (a family fun/arcade/bumper car, etc place) for a while. I spent those few hours alone. I went for a jog and sat outside for a while, just talking to God and remembering how He has been faithful over this past year. Also, remembering the deep loss that I have experienced. I sometimes wonder if the pain will ever ease up. I was grateful to have that time alone and for the boys to just go have some FUN.

The boys came home and got to open a surprise package from my dear friend from graduate school days, Rachel. They had a box FULL of Alabama stuff, with a signed football from Nick Saban! They were truly through the roof on this one. 

We dropped a card and some cookies off at their Papa's house and went on to the cemetery. There were some left over lanterns from the birthday celebration we did to honor Bunky, so we thought we would send those off. Unfortunately, the wind was really blowing and we had to nix that. A sweet lady was visiting her husband's grave right next to us and took our picture. We just sat a while. We prayed together. Each of the boys prayed…which can I just tell you, made this mama bawl! There is nothing sweeter than the prayers of children, who are feeling the magnitude already, of their need for their Heavenly Father. Before we left the boys got a hold of the camera and took a few pictures of the sky too.

 

 

After that, everyone was hungry, so we headed to Garcia's to have Bunky's favorite Mexican food! I let them stay up to watch a movie tonight, as well. Overall, I feel such sorrow in my heart, if I am being honest. However, I can literally feel that we are covered in prayer, as peace lies in the midst of all the pain. The only thing I can think of to describe it is, the hurt and pain is there (it may always be on some level), but there is this warm blanket of peace that covers over it. It is like being cold and having a warm blanket put over you. You still feel cold, at least for a while, until you adjust to the warm blanket. There has been a "blanket of peace" covering my coldness today.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the texts, calls, cards, gifts, messages, etc. that I have gotten over the last several days. I am just overwhelmed. Completely overwhelmed and grateful beyond words. Thank you for not forgetting. We have loved reading stories of things people are doing to "Remember Rod"…It is making an impact. My prayer is that all of us would incorporate that mindset into our daily lives. Thank you for continuing to think of us and pray. It is powerful and I can assure you it is felt. God is so good!

Lamentations 3:32

"Though He brings grief, He will show compassion, so great is His unfailing love."