Wednesday, October 26, 2011

September MRI

Cooper had his usual MRI Sept. 12th. This was the longest we have gone between scans, as we are now in the "6 month club".....getting to wait 6 months between MRI's. Cooper did great. When I woke him up that morning, he was happy, not even asking to eat and just content to take an early morning ride to the hospital (an answer to many prayers no doubt). Of course, the moment we went back into the Radiology Department, he realized where he was and started getting a little more cranky. Fortunately, he was distracted with his little superhero figures and they took him back fairly quickly, so it was fine.
 It's hard to describe the sinking feeling that overwhelms my momma's heart, each time we go in that place. It represents so many things to me and lots of memories come flooding back all at once, when we walk through those doors. On one hand, the magnitude of what we have been told, scans we have seen, pain that has been endured by our little boy, waiting for answers, sheer exhaustion, questions that couldn't be answered, and the fragility of life come rushing back.... making me want to curl up in the fetal position and block it all out. On the other hand, I am thankful beyond words for how our lives have been forever changed for the better. I am honored to have met, cried with, been hugged by, and even prayed with some of the most amazing surgeons, oncologists, and nurses on the planet. I am grateful to be coming back for MRI's as opposed to the alternative of not having the opportunity to come back, like so many families who have lost the fight against cancer. I guess walking through those doors will never again be just that....walking through the doors. There will no doubt, always be the emotions on each end of the spectrum that accompany that experience. I can only hope and pray that God uses that to soften my heart to others and keep perspective on HIS control of ALL things.

Not quite awake from the anesthesia
As for this MRI, we received encouraging news overall. There is no evidence of recurrent tumor (Praise God). They are wanting to monitor a lymph node that they have been tracking for a while now. Apparently, it is a little larger and different than they would like it to be and it has continued to grow over time. So, the plan is to go back December 12th for another scan to see what it's doing and then make a decision from there about whether or not to biopsy it. I am hopeful that it is nothing. I feel like they are especially cautious about everything with Cooper, which is okay with me too.