Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Happy 10th Birthday Colbster

Today was Colby's 10th birthday. Double Digits! I remember thinking that was such a big deal when I was a kid. It turned out to be a Wednesday at home, because of the "snow day." Of course, while a lot of kids would have probably liked that, I think Colby was a little disappointed to not be at school. He likes the recognition that accompanies a birthday celebrated at school. Overall, though, I think he had a good day. I did my best to make it special and he was his typical, grateful self for that.

He told me a few nights ago, through big tears and little arms that wouldn't let go of me..."If I could just have one thing for my birthday, it would be for my dad to give me a hug." Oh, if only I could make that happen, somehow, you better believe me...I would! He has been better able to verbalize his feelings about his dad over the last several months. It's heartbreaking, yet there is a relief I feel with it, at the same time. He is my "stuffer" and so any time he can express his emotion, it is a big deal and a really good thing.

Just feeling thankful tonight, for my middle boy, who is truly a joy! I guess I am feeling a little sad too, because celebrating birthdays just feels different. I don't really know how to explain it, but it just does. It's like showing up for something that is important, monumental, and really special...only to realize someone you really thought would be there, isn't. Someone who should be there, is not.  I sensed it today with Colby and I do think he will probably have an especially hard time with it since he and his dad had birthdays 3 days apart and always celebrated together. I pray he felt lots of love and the celebration of his day was enough to overshadow whatever felt lost.

Happy Birthday Colby Watson Cook!

I love you MORE,