Honest Thoughts on Valentine's Day

Warning…if you are a hopeless romantic who loves all things "Valentine," this post will probably not be your favorite. Stop reading now and go get your LOVE on! No judgment here. 

Ohhhh, the sea of red and pink that begins to creep onto store shelves soon after Christmas decor is cleared out. Heart-shaped boxes full of chocolate, flowers, and cards just staring you in the face, everywhere you look. The display is overwhelming and I can almost hear the beautifully decorated boxes saying, "Me, Me, Pick Me." No, not really…I'm not hearing voices just yet. Although, it's not that far-fetched in my mental state these days. 

I read an article in Forbes Magazine from 2013,  which reported results from a survey conducted by BIGinsight, a consumer insights firm:

• The average person plans to spend $130.97 on candy, cards, gifts and more.
• Men will spend an average of $175.61, while women will spend roughly $88.78.
• For consumers above the age of 18, total spending is expected to reach $18.6 billion.

Valentine's Day is about expectations. Ones that are usually not met. It also comes with a lot of comparisons…("what did you get for V-day?""Aren't you going out to dinner?" etc.) Therefore, disappointment is inevitable and a day that was meant for LOVE, can often end up leaving lovers; well, nothing but frustrated!

Don't get me wrong…I enjoy flowers just like the next girl. And chocolate, well, I adore chocolate whether it comes in a heart-shaped box or out of a Hershey's Syrup bottle! 

What I enjoy most…

When something is done from a place in the heart that says, 

"I care about you"
"I thought about you"
"I want you to know I love you"
"You are special"
"You have made a difference in my world"

That can happen and SHOULD happen on any given day…not just February 14th! 

I will never forget our first Valentine's Day together. Bunky brought out a brown paper sack with my Valentine's gift. He made it clear that he thought V-day was a "Hallmark" holiday, a day that forced people to go out and spend money to "say" something that should be said throughout the year. 

He always did small things for me on Valentine's day, but only because he felt like he should and he didn't want to hurt my feelings. He also didn't want to be "outdone" by anyone he might have a conversation with about it. (Did I mention comparisons and expectations?) Thankfully, he did a great job of showing me how much he loved me on a continuous basis. He validated his thoughts about V-day with actions on days other than Feb. 14th. And, honestly, I would take that any day!

So, back to the brown paper sack. Our first romantic holiday together and he pulls out two matching ALABAMA sweatshirts…one for him and one for me! If you know him at all, you know this is just who he was. He kept it real. Always. 

And do you know what that ugly matching sweatshirt spoke to me?

"I care about you"
"I thought about you"
"I want you to know I love you"
"You are special"
"You have made a difference in my world"

And one last thing…. 

"I really hope you will love Alabama football as much as I do"

This picture has so many funny memories attached to it that I just laugh out loud when I see it! Us in our matching AL sweatshirts before a game. (side note…I look like a boy here, I think! Ha)

So, while it's fun to romanticize and get caught up in Valentine's Day. I have always felt like there are more things wrong with it, than right. I have gotten more than one message this week from friends who are single, feeling all down in the dumps about Valentine's Day. They all wanted to let me know how they were feeling sorry for themselves and then thought of me (because I don't have my love here to celebrate with), and perspective was changed.

While I do SO appreciate that, I have news for everyone…it wasn't a BIG holiday in mine and Bunky's world. (That might have had a little something to do with the fact that his birthday was the day before, and in true "Rod Cook fashion," he liked all the attention on him…not to be overshadowed by the day coming after HIS big day). I remember him telling me multiple times, "I don't like commercializing my love for you." :) And, really, that's exactly what Valentine's Day does.

Finally, if it makes anyone feel better…the majority of my married friends I've talked to in the last few days are at home tonight, hanging with their kids, and not doing too much of anything! In fact, I know one couple, who the dad has even gone to the Spongebob movie with his son and friends, while mom is at home! Valentine's Day does NOT dictate your worth or how loved you are…don't ever forget that. Single. Dating. Or Married!